What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What! how could you do that?

How is Taylor Swift feeling after Trump’s landslide victory over Kamala Harris?

What do you mean son?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Do you know what she said mum?

Which scene is considered the most difficult to watch in each of Quentin Tarantino's movies?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Why are the bands Smashmouth and Nickelback often used as punchlines?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

What are some sex stories from your college days?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

There is any scientific evidence that we live in a sphere. Why do others say that we lives in a flat Earth but there is no evidence that they have proven the existence of a flat earth?

True - how I loved my mum!